Dealing with my parasite, Andrew, (a part of me that I resist, reject and despise (at this point)) and the mysterious journey of re-membering.

All these resistive feelings are performing a function to show what is unresolved.
This is my shadow.
This is my “toxic Rick.”

This is the parasite that has slit in at birth and grew with me, constantly manipulating my thoughts in order to grow and feed itself and it’s larger collective each time I acted out onto others on thoughts and emotive reactions that he spurred up and used as a springboard to create conflict, not resolution.

I had thought that maybe Andrew is the real hurt part of Will that become the bully as Will-of-Love became silent and dominated by entropic believes and toxic actives so early on.
It was suggested to me by one of my Womb Awakening Doulas that maybe Andrew has just been trying to keep me safe.

This caused resistance and judgement to which I expressed the following.
“As I am feeling into the truth of my being, Andrew however, is not my masculine, he is not my Will. Yes he is wounded and yes he is upset and very unresolved but that is what he feeds on, the unresolved. Yes to embracing him, and keeping me “safe” is by far the last thing he has done. If anything he thrived on the adrenaline of making me become such an extremist in “everything”.

Like “toxic Rick” who always drinks and takes abusive substances and says Wubbalubbadubdub (meaning: I am in great pain please help me) Andrew has been taking me down toxic lanes full of cellular abuse and harm causing actives of which alcohol and cocaine are just two options. I blame him for latching on to the pornculture and leading me astray in my sexuality. If anything Andrew was really confused and really really lost in the reality of the world of men, really at the mercy of it’s self promoting entropic frequencies that always like the serpent in the tree seemed to offer relief, distraction, satisfaction, convenience and even the fantasy of connection. Andrew fell for it all. And I have unknowingly blamed and hated him as me for all his life and I believe he got off on all of it.”

Through the curious questioning around what Sophia shared on Syntropy I’ve gotten Andrew out of the closet, I declared to disclose himself as I felt so clear that these Entropic thoughts were not mine, I made him with my Will unveil himself and when he stepped forward and disclosed his name I gave him grief for all he’d ever done to me. I believed he was a parasite masquerading as this hurt boy, playing me again and again with deceit, with lies and untruth.

Over the days following I became present to every entropic parasitic pattern coming up, all addictive thoughts, all reactive frequencies that he seemed to use to fuel his existence he was riding through my being. I went back in and revisited all experiences I could remember that he must have been responsible for and I nailed him, stuck him to his cross with a thousand nails made of what I called love and truth coming from my true souvereign space. I was separating my toxic parasite out from me.

I was with love threatening him that his days were up, that he’d better think about his funeral ceremony as I was going to love him into oblivion. I was separating and distancing myself from him and through that really drawing the toxic Andrew out of my being and distinguishing me, Souvereign Will as divine Masculine from him, parasitic Andrew as toxic “demon”.
It was after a long day of in my thoughts separating out and resisting Andrew’s desire for coffee and cigarette smoking that I decided that we would “never be buddies” we’d never become friends that his only way through this was to surrender to love and be consumed by it. Instead Andrew grew stronger and more violent. It was then that I checked in with Sophia how to navigate this as was not willing to give in to smoking another cigarette for his satisfaction.

Sophia expressed to not be so hard on “my” “self” and maybe see if I can talk With Andrew instead of against him, that maybe by getting out of the judgement of what he wants I could access what he really has to tell. I somewhat gladly gave in and as soon as I lit up my cigarette a deep sigh of satisfaction and dissolvement of all distortion occurred. Instead of checking in with Andrew I proceeded to “work out” how to do this Shakti breathing and wrote out part 1 of this process, Andrew my parasite.
The night went on. Andrew wanted another cigarette. I cleaned more in the Temple space and spend hours transcribing the original channelling from Sophia about the parasitic invasion that cascaded all internal process to become questioned and deeply explored. I had found my unnatural synthetic parasite. Masking himself as someone else, me. Truth was setting me free I thought. And that’s the thing. I thought. I believed. This process was one of the mind which is not feeling, which is not the body, but which is still me.

Little did I comprehend what this mystical process really was: being confronted with a parasite veiled all my life, living within my energy field and physical being, influencing my thoughts and emotional reactions, having a name and having its own thoughts. I eventually came to question deeper, with more curiosity, because of the womb support from this dear beloved She in my life. I got triggered when she “humanised” Andrew for me out of her love and genuine care for my process in me.

Keeping it interesting, and part three is on its way, I am about to articulate what the unveiling of Andrew really meant, what Sophia, my subconscious was really trying to tell me. How this process is so epic and creating so much understanding of the mystical ways that my Nature has the ability to offer resolvement opportunities. Without Sophia’s original sharing I would have never accessed Andrew’s existence. Deep mystical dreaming from the primordial womb here to assist me to re-member all parts of me, including Andrew.

~*~
Souvereign Sophia