I was violated at birth, through premature severing from life, love, and peace, the moment my placenta was cut away before my body was ready. A grownup decided when it was time for me to disconnect, and that decision left trauma in its place, especially in how soul and spirit were still translating information from the placenta into my small body in those first minutes.

I arrived into the world of men through force. My navelport closed before I had any say in the matter, and that is where my sense of violation begins, a boundary crossed before I could form the word no. What I later interpreted as parasitic frequencies nesting in that open doorway was raw trauma reverberating in my cells, the hurt of a separation that came too soon. I have grown into more awareness of this hurt by questioning the function of my own compulsive consumption and addiction patterns.

Western medicine’s approach to birth left me walking through life with what felt like a broken compass. During a recent breathwork session, I experienced something like a ceremony sealing that old wound, the navelport trauma that had waited decades to be acknowledged, felt, and met with love. In feeling it, accepting it, and freeing it, I sensed my own sovereign will emerging from beneath the trauma, as if I were meeting my freed sovereign self for the first time. Awe, power, and gratitude moved through me as I called myself home in my own native tongue, inviting my sovereign self to take hold, to become me, to embody me, a process close to what I wrote about in Roots to Freedom.

In the days that followed I felt restored, sovereign, free, and open. Yet the breathwork experience was transcendental in nature, meaning I moved through imaginative projections and mistook them for a finished resolution. My navelport had not yet had its own grounded, in-body resolution, and what I know now is that cells resolve what they’re given attention for. So my body kept processing outward, and I began sensing that hardly anyone in the Western mind has healed this particular place, that self-embodiment is rare rather than common. I found myself writing in the collective voice, imagining a place of learning that could help humanity address this root cause of harm toward other living beings. Those were real perceptions arriving from somewhere deeper in the cells, even while the reach for “humanity” and “we” was still my own projection finding its shape.

The shift out of a lifelong fear of external violation came so suddenly, and so far outside my body, that I felt compelled to keep writing. I became convinced that healing our umbilical trauma is a root key to real human freedom, and that sovereign, fearless human beings are rare without it. I wrote that people who carry this trauma in silence keep searching outside themselves for gurus and teachers, buying more books that sell more answers while the actual wound, the sacred seal and doorway to the seat of the Will, stays open, still waiting to be met.

I knew even then that these were only ever my own reflections, trauma reverberating from within my own cells, because I can only speak from my own experience, and the outer world only ever mirrors what waits in me for clearing. What still amazes me is the depth of cellular and spirited information I accessed through that process.

Cutting My Cord

The umbilical cord is my life, a transferring link to my spiritual hologram. This placenta is me in another form, my life-informing source of intelligence, the database that built and grew me into the being I am now. Will and I work together deep inside this warm seat of creation, my mother’s womb. Placenta carries the road map for my life’s navigation, the map of my spirit I will receive in the final stages of arriving on Earth, outside the womb, where life begins.

After a strenuous journey into the light, I have taken my first breath, and I am waiting to receive my final transfer of soul information. I am waiting for my roadmap, my compass for navigation…

Why am I hurting? Where is…
(as the cord is cut)
What is happening?
Will? Will? Where are you? Only half of you has arrived.

This birth trauma lay dormant in me for over three decades, an active breeding ground for fear, low self-worth, and the feeling of a broken compass. For years I searched for who I am out in the world of men, which met my disorientation with an endless variety of consumable products.

Carrying this lifelong wound in silence kept it running as a program that suppresses me in fear of violation. I want to come to know the sovereign presence of peace and harmony that is my innate heritage, my natural birthright, and now my mission to reclaim, so I can live in fearless freedom.

I want to live surrounded by more human mammal friends in fearless freedom, held together, free from harm, free from trauma-based patterns, and that is why I share this work: to promote Lotus Birth and natural birthing practices, and to do the work in my own cells, reclaiming my own sovereign being, reclaiming freedom, and restoring peace within.

~*~

Souvereign Freedom