Healing & the Return to Wholeness
The return to wholeness is the healing of the parts of self that split off under trauma and conditioning, what is commonly called inner child healing, through accepting that what happened happened, questioning what each reaction is performing, and walking every part home in its own time.
“Love is the way home. Will is the way there. And home is your Nature, and all of Nature is based on Syntropy.”
from How to Free Yourself From Fear
Perhaps a part of you went quiet a long time ago, and some days you can feel the place where it used to be. These writings walk toward the parts of Self that trauma and conditioning once split off, the youngling, the nervous system and the imprints waiting to be met, and the two pieces opening the way were written from inside the work itself.
Two pieces that open the way
The line across the banner comes from How to Free Yourself From Fear, a piece I wrote in 2020 on the trinity that keeps turning in on itself, Syntropy, Sovereignty and Self Love, and on how fear-based patterning loosens once the three are felt as one movement in the body. Beside it sits Returning to the Original Innocence, written from inside a session of the work, a felt and guided walk through tending the internal landscape and welcoming the fragmented parts home.
Acceptance comes before forgiveness
Forgiveness was the word I reached for first, and what I kept finding in sessions and in myself is that if we practice forgiveness alone, we are practicing a very advanced form of coping, and if we’re not resolving, we’re coping. The question I ask now sits further back than forgiveness ever reached, and I let it stand in the room on its own.
Do you feel willing to accept that what happened happened?
That is the absolute core of trauma, an unwillingness to accept what happened, and the moment a part of you answers yes, something in the cells can finally stop bracing and start resolving, because forgiveness is really the act of accepting that what happened happened. And if the answer is no, that’s beautiful too, because it means there is a deeper story that still wants to be expressed, and we can thank that part for saying so.
A cut on the skin
You make a cut on your skin and it covers itself back up, it heals, it is self-healing, and that is the picture I keep coming back to, since our entire Syntropic nature is for wholeness. The body already knows how to heal, and the same intelligence runs the internal landscape. What happened for so many of the people I sit with, and for me, is that we were happy, happy, happy, happy, and then an imprint happened, and after that we were impacted, impacted, impacted, and the part of self that was there when it happened stayed there, still the age it was, with the walls of the story closed around it. That original innocence stays trapped in many of the people I sit with. The reaction you feel today, the bracing, the flare, the sudden tiredness, performs a function with purpose, and its function is to point back at the one who is still waiting, so I question the function before I do anything else. Where the first imprints are laid down, in the womb and at birth, is the ground of the Sacred Birth & Conscious Parenting pillar, and the two pillars read each other.
Two chairs at the circle
In the heart navigation circles I sometimes set out two chairs, one for shame and one for the absence of presence of love, and I invite whoever recognises a little version of themselves in either story to let that one take a seat, because these little beings are part and parcel of conversation after conversation, and yet they rarely receive a proper seat at the circle. This is the part of self that didn’t get love, the part of self that wasn’t seen, the part of self that when it reached out found no one there. Once it is seated the work is gentle and it is slow, and the parts come home in their own time, since the part of self knows, and what it knows is grassy fields and beautiful sunsets and blue skies and togetherness, which is where it is willing to be walked back to. The writings that go deeper into this sit here in the pillar as well, Teachings of Syntropy in Healing on Syntropy as the logic the body already heals by, Why Do We Dismember? on the moment a self divides and what calls it home, and Self and Cell Healing on how the cells hold the memory and how they speak.
Books to walk it with
The writings of this pillar have already grown into their own books, the Map of the Return, three journeys you can download, walk at your own pace and give onward, where Come and Find Me opens the way to the part that has been waiting, Meet Me There takes you by the five breaths into the internal landscape and its legend, and Bring Me Home is the workbook for healing the five primary imprints door by door.
Bring me a dream
Your cells communicate in the language of images, and a dream is one of the forms that communication takes, so when a part of you is ready to be found it very often speaks first at night. Dream Interpretation belongs to this healing work, beginning with a first dream you send as a gift and we interpret together over Zoom, and growing into a Dream Journey or into dreams tracked as a sequence through the eight to twelve weeks of the Syntropic Embodiment Journey.
Walking it together
I go there with people, into the subconscious mind, and we do the retrieval work together in the shape I lay out step by step in Re-Membering the Parts of Self, where I guide and you heal. Take your time with what is here, let whichever part of you went quiet read over your shoulder, and when you feel willing, come and find me, so that the part can be found, so that the story can be told to its end, so that what was split off can walk home whole, and so that Life can keep giving life through you.
Questions people ask about inner child healing and wholeness
What is inner child work in therapy?
Inner child work, in the therapy rooms, means turning toward the younger self who still carries an unmet need and giving it the care it missed. The term is a borrowed one for me, since what I meet in session is a part of self, the youngling, still the age it was when an imprint happened, with the walls of the story closed around it. We were happy, happy, happy, and then an imprint happened, and after that we were impacted, impacted, impacted. The work is to find that one, let it tell its story to the end, speak aloud what should have been said to it at the time, and walk it home into the whole of you.
How to practice inner child work?
Start by giving the part a seat. In the heart navigation circles I set out two chairs, one for shame and one for the absence of presence of love, and I invite whoever recognises a little version of themselves to let that one sit down, because these little beings are part of conversation after conversation and rarely receive a proper seat. At home you can do the same. Sit quietly, enter through the heart, invite the part that still holds something, and ask gently whether it has a name, what it is holding, and what it still wants you to know. Then make it a promise you keep, I will spend more time with you.
How to heal core wounds?
What are called core wounds I trace to five primary imprints, abandonment, rejection, shaming, the absence of presence of love and premature separation from love, laid down in the womb, at birth and in the early years. Healing begins with one question I let stand in the room on its own. Do you feel willing to accept that what happened happened? That is the absolute core of trauma, an unwillingness to accept what happened, and the moment a part of you answers yes the cells can stop bracing and start resolving. Then the part is met, its story is heard to the end, and what should have been said is spoken, so that it can come home.
What is the spiritual meaning of wholeness?
You make a cut on your skin and it covers itself back up, it heals, it is self-healing, and that is the whole of it for me, since our entire Syntropic nature is for wholeness. Wholeness is the natural order of Life in a human being, love, safety and belonging as the baseline, and the parts that split off under the imprints are still part of that whole, holding their station until they are found. Life in you is whole already, and the work is re-membering it. The spiritual meaning of wholeness, as I have come to live it, is that all of you is still here, some of it dislodged, and all of it able to come home.
What does acceptance mean in life?
Acceptance, in my experience, sits further back than forgiveness ever reached. If we practice forgiveness alone we are practicing a very advanced form of coping, and if we’re not resolving, we’re coping. Acceptance means a part of you being willing to say that what happened happened, which asks for no agreement with it and excuses nobody, and the moment that yes arrives the cells can stop bracing and begin to resolve. And if the answer is no, that’s beautiful too, because it means there is a deeper story that still wants to be expressed, and we thank that part for saying so and go there first.